Despite all of our uniqueness, we all share the same basic instincts – we want to feel loved and accepted, to be protected from danger and persecution, and to be free. Above all, we desire to be happy.
We want to feel joy as much as possible, but feeling good can be hard with all the stresses and complexities of our modern world. We deal with environmental pressures and so many internal pressures, too. Many of us carry an internal critic that makes us feel bad about the things we do.
Most importantly, many of us live our lives not even knowing that we are subconsciously sabotaging our happiness. If you want to recognize what those self-sabotaging traits are, keep on reading.
You don’t make time for yourself
People that habitually don’t take time for themselves really need to refuel their energetic, emotional and spiritual batteries.
After all, if you don’t take any time off for yourself, how can you truly be happy? Always causing yourself to feel run down, overcommitted and stressed out is the opposite of self-love.
After a while, not putting yourself first really hits you hard, and it often comes in unexpected ways.
If you always say ‘yes’ to everyone at the expense of your own time and feelings, then you need to take the time to figure out why you are overcompensating and overcommitting in this area of your life.
If you find yourself feeling constantly under pressure and burnt out from work, chores, kids, and other social obligations, then this applies to you. It’s important to make yourself a priority and schedule some weekly alone time where you can relax and recharge yourself.
Some wonderful and inexpensive ways to recharge is to read a book, run yourself a nice bubble bath, book a small weekend getaway, or chill out in a yoga class. Whatever it is, take the time to reset from a busy week and show yourself some love.
You really care about what other people think of you
Caring about what other people think is just a recipe for anxiety and sadness. People who care deeply about what other people think about them often live limiting lives because they’re scared of making the wrong move or being their true selves.
We can’t control what other people think of us, and to be honest, it’s really none of our business either.
You can be ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there will still always be someone that doesn’t like peaches.
We shouldn’t be concerned with the opinions of others because the opinion that we have about ourselves is what’s truly important.
If you hold yourself in high esteem, then what people think and say about you doesn’t matter. Who cares what they think?!
Focus on yourself and the ones that love you, and let the rest be background noise.
You settle for less
People with low self-esteem often settle for less because at one point in their life they adopted the belief system that they are not worthy and therefore don’t deserve good things.
They often stay with partners that are not good for them, let people take advantage of them, and stay in situations that no longer serve them.
This is a very difficult and painful belief system to break, and one that often requires therapy to truly resolve.
Building confidence in yourself and learning how to love yourself is a process that is essential to undertake if you want to be happy.
Aside from therapy, you can also start to build your self-esteem through routine meditation and yoga, engaging in self-esteem boosting activities, befriending people who have a healthy outlook on life and high self-esteem, and by removing all negative people in your life who put you down.
It takes tremendous courage to put a mirror to yourself and recognize the self-sabotaging things that you do that block you from experiencing true happiness.
But once you do recognize these things and make a plan to address them, it’s so worth it. Because it’s only when we recognize these faults that we can change them.
Internal growth is possible as long as you make your happiness a priority.
I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey.
Always remember that you are loved and that you are destined for a happy life!